And I Had To Let Him Go
by Dragon Moonshine
Summary: Shounen-ai KH Short, one shot fic


Title: And I Had To Let Him Go  
  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
  
Warnings: Major angst and shounen-ai  
  
Pairing: Kurama/Hiei  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Kurama opened his eyes slowly; the early morning light practically seared them. Sitting up in his bed, the past night's events came flooding back to him. And he cried.  
  
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'Flashback'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`' `'`'`'`'`'`  
  
This was it; tonight, Kurama would finally tell Hiei how he really felt about him. Truth be told, Kurama more than liked the fire demon. He loved him. It had started out faintly, but then Kurama finally realized what his heart had been telling him. And it wasn't lust either, Kurama made sure of that. Sure, Hiei was drop dead sexy, but there was something else there...something...different.  
  
A light tap on Kurama's window let him know that Hiei had arrived. Eagerly, he opened it.  
  
"What do you want to do tonight, fox?" Hiei asked.  
  
"Um...actually, Hiei. I...uh..."  
  
"Spit it out, fox. Time is of the essence."  
  
"Of course..." Kurama replied. Inwardly, he was sweating buckets. 'Who am I kidding? He wouldn't feel the same way as I do. But, I guess I have to tell him... Just get it over with."  
  
When Kurama finally looked up, Hiei was casually leaning against the window. Just like he always did. He looked so peaceful, so serene. Of course, until you looked at his eyes. They seemed to burn with an unquenchable fire. One that no amount of water could put out. They pulled you inward, farther and farther in, until you got to the bottom. The unusual thing was, Kurama almost never saw them yield any emotion. It was as if they were frozen.  
  
Frozen. That was a good way to descibe The Forbidden Child. Cold. Heartless. Uncaring. Relentless. Indifferent. Yes, those were all good descriptions of Hiei. Every last one of them.  
  
Well, it was now or never.  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"I... I...love you."  
  
The last part was the lowest of whispers, but as we all know, Hiei had very good hearing.  
  
"Kurama... I understand-"  
  
One heart began to beat a little bit faster.  
  
"-but... I could never return it."  
  
All of a sudden, the walls came crashing down. 'No! No! No! No! This wasn't how it was supposed to happen! It wasn't...supposed...to...be this way.' Kurama's inner voice screamed.  
  
"You have to understand, Kurama," Hiei continued, "Love is not a feeling or emotion. It is an action. Look at how I love Yukina. I love her more than life itself, but it is an act of love, not an emotion. Emotions...come and go, Kurama. Like happiness, or fear, or grief. They all come and then leave."  
  
He reached over and put a comforting arm around Kurama, who was fighting to keep back tears.  
  
"Kurama, I don't think that this is true love that you're experiencing. True love isn't that fuzzy feeling you get every time you look at someone you're attracted to. It's when you would gladly go to the pits of hell and back too keep your loved on safe. You might say that you would do this for me, correct?"  
  
Kurama nodded.  
  
"But you wouldn't. Not if you were faced with a choice between saving yourself and saving me. "  
  
Hiei stood up to leave.  
  
"I don't think I'll be returning for awhile. When I come back, we'll see if you can withstand the test. If you find someone else, I wish you all the luck in the world. But, if you can wait for me, then you will know that what you feel for me is true love. Are you willing to do this, Kurama?"  
  
"Yes, Hiei. I think I am," Kurama managed to choke out.  
  
A small smile graced Hiei's lips for a moment; and then, he leaped out into the night.  
  
Kurama sat in that same spot for hours afterwards, hoping that Hiei would appear in the window like he had so many times before. He understood most of what Hiei had said, and it all made sense.  
  
"But, you were wrong about one thing, Hiei," Kurama whispered into the darkness. "I do love you, and I'll be right here...waiting."  
  
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`End Flashback`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`  
  
Wiping the tears from his eyes, Kurama stood up and opened the curtains, letting the morning light sear his skin. And...he smiled.  
  
And I guess I had to let him go...  
  
Owari  
  
Crystalline Entity: Well... ::sniffs:: I thought it was sad and pretty. The only problem Its to short! :: frowns:: But, I won't know what you think of it until you reveiw! And, about all that stuff Hiei said, that's kinda what I believe. I thought it would make a good shounen-ai story. ::smiles:: OK, 'nuf said. REVIEW!!!! 


End file.
